Spirituality Page: Rites of Passage

Author's Biography: I am a 25 year old mother of a 5 year old boy. I was born and grew up in Croatia, and later moved to Britain, where I live with my husband and our son in a nice little Pagan-friendly town. I studied physics and at the moment I'm finishing my degree. I was brought up by atheist parents and, after trying out a number of both conventional and unconventional religious paths, I have found Wicca about a year ago. I play a guitar, write an odd song or two and absolutely love reading anything I can get my hands on.

One day, it just happened - my son told me he has a wobbly tooth. And, before I could really have time to think about it at all, it fell out. My son has lost his first baby tooth. He is growing up. It was quite a shock for all of us (my husband, son and me). So, I though, maybe we should do a small ritual and acknowledge our son is not a baby any more.

We didn't do it the first weekend after it had happened, and we didn't do it the second one either. I think none of us were really ready for it and we had a lot of excuses for avoiding it. We didn't want to lose our little baby and he didn't want to become a 'grown-up' and get all the horrible responsibilities. But then, a new Sunday came, the Sun was shining and the sky was blue. It was such a beautiful day, a perfect day. I suggested we could all go to the park near by and do our little ritual there.

Our park is really big. Among other things, it has a big lake with a forest around it and I thought it shouldn't be too hard to find somewhere quiet in that forest, where we could do our ritual undisturbed. I was wrong - it was a beautiful day and the place was full of people. We walked around the lake, watched the ducks and swans and almost gave up the idea altogether, thinking we'll just do it later, when we go home. But then I noticed a little path leading of towards some bushes and I just went there, with no particular intention. And from there, I saw even a smaller path, going right through the bushes. We followed it and ended up in a small clearing right at the lake. It was a perfect place. An overturned tree with its huge roots creates a wall on one side. The lake is in the West and checking the time, I've realized we have the Sun almost exactly in the South. Do you believe in coincidences? I don't.

We let our son play for a while and then we 'went down to business'. I called upon the elements that surrounded us and the Goddess and God to witness our rite and bless that place and our son. And then we just talked a little. I asked my son to remember all the things we had to do for him when he was a baby. And then, after he counted a few, I asked him to think about the things he can do now on his own. I pointed out to him that, as he grows up, he is able to do more things on his own, but on the other hand, he gets some responsibilities to go with it. He didn't like the idea of responsibilities, but we talked about it and I told him that, at his age, the only responsibility he really has is to think about his actions and think about how they affect other people. In other words, to try and do what is right, and avoid doing what he thinks is wrong and hurts someone.

After that, I wrapped him up in his jacket and put his hood on, saying that inside is the baby we just talked about. I then opened up his jacket and took his hood off saying that now, from a baby, a big boy has come out. I presented my big boy to the wind, Sun, lake and the earth. I gave him his tooth and took him to the water, telling him to stay there for a minute and think about what we just did. And if he thinks and feels he's ready to stop being a baby, he can throw his tooth in the lake, to show the Lord and Lady his intention and they will give him their blessings and help. I also told him he should only do it if he thinks he's ready, and if not, none will take it against him and we shall just repeat this when he thinks he can do it. With those words, I took a few steps back.

He stood there for a while and I honestly didn't know if he would do it. He looked so serious. And then he threw his tooth in a lake, thought a little bit more and then turned around and smiled. I took him back to the circle, saying how I took the baby out to the lake and I am welcoming my big boy back. Needless to say, I was so proud of him. I lift him up high and presented him to the Goddess and God, asking for their blessings and help on his way. I told him that even though he is a big boy now, I am always there for him, whenever he needs me. Always. And to show him we really think he is a bit more grown up than he was before, we told him he can go to bed half an hour later than he did so far (which was 9pm, except on special occasions). He was definitely happy about that and asked what do we call midnight, is it 10 or 11 or what? When I told him it's 12, his comment was "Wow, that's A LOT of teeth!"

We thanked the elements for being there with us and thanked the Goddess and God for leading us to that place and helping us all through this. We took a slow walk back and my son told me how he was both sad and happy about what we just did (he still doesn't like the responsibilities idea). And we talked a lot about having to give up something to gain something more. And how sometimes we have to let the old things go, no matter how much we like them, before we can get new things in our lives. We gave him some examples from our own lives and in the end of the day we had one happy big boy sleeping in the room upstairs.