Family Life Page: Advice Columns

Selene Silverwind is currently working on a novel based on her serial pagan romance. She lives in Los Angeles, California and can be reached at Slvrwind@aol.com.

Family values. It's a term oft bandied about by politicians trying to show they care about the morals of the people. The phrase is usually associated with Christian values, rather than universal human values. Very few people would ever think to apply the term to Pagans. We're too busy running naked in the woods to care about raising our children to be good people and being actively involved in the communities in which we live.

Those stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. Pagans do have family values; we consider our children gifts from the Goddess and honor our families. Many of us make new families out of our communities when our extended families live a long distance away or have not accepted our faiths. It is time to demonstrate to our non-Pagan friends and neighbors that the stereotypes are wrong, and, in the process, bring our friends, families, and communities together while teaching them the truth about our ways.

The fall is a hectic time for most families as we get the kids back to school, rake leaves and prepare our gardens for winter, and gear up for the late fall and early winter holidays ahead. Amid all the hustle and bustle of the season, it can be hard to take time to slow down and really pay attention to your family and friends, but it's important to do so. Below are a few suggestions for creating quality time. Many people are fond of hanging wreathes and brooms on their doors at this time of year. You can buy them pre-made at your local craft store or gift shop, or make them yourself! Turn this into a family activity by having your children help you make brooms with scavenged materials from your yard or local park and dried herbs from your garden or local occult shop. Charge them with protection during a family ritual and give them to friends and family members, explaining that the brooms will protect their homes.

It is easy to fill your home with store-bought holiday trimmings rather than making your own, but if you have children why not let them design your table's centerpiece for you? Send them outside to gather fallen leaves, acorns, pinecones, and whatever else they can find. Then take them to the grocery store pr pumpkin patch to child pick out a couple of small pumpkins or fresh gourds to go on the table. Provide them with an assortment of colorful clothes (linen napkins are perfect) and baskets and let their artistic minds go to work.

Involve your children in decorating the family ancestor altar for Samhain as well and while they exercise their creative muscles, teach them the importance of revering our roots and honoring our elders and ancestors, for they have much to teach us about our pasts and our futures.

While making time for your children at home is important, it is also pertinent that you get involved in your children's schools. Volunteering to teach crafts is an excellent way to do this. A great project for fall is wreath making. All you will need to provide are Styrofoam rounds or olive branch wreathes which can be purchased fairly inexpensively at craft stores. Prior to craft day, ask their teacher to have the students gather twigs, dried leaves, and other natural items that have fallen to the ground. While they are busy painting, gluing, and creating explain the basic science behind the onset of fall and then retell a classic fall story such as the myth of Demeter and Persephone. Bring apple muffins for a post-craft snack.

As it gets closer to Samhain, you should be able to find small dried gourds in your local craft store. They are perfect for a simple school project that requires only the gourds, poster paints and paintbrushes. While the children decorate the gourds with their favorite symbols of the season paint, explain how gourds can be used as instruments and the tradition behind doing so. Serve pumpkin muffins as a snack.

The fall is also the perfect time for a Progressive Dinner. Get together with five or six families in your neighborhood and plan a dinner around a theme. Since this is the Witch's Thanksgiving, you can call it the neighborhood's preliminary Thanksgiving. Each family hosts one course and all the families travel from home to home for each course. Wrap up the evening at your house with festive desserts and family games like Pictionary or parents versus children charades.

Fall festivals are quite common at this time of year. Organize one for your neighborhood. If your family is like mine, you have several abundant fruit trees in your backyard. By this time most of the fruit that hasn't been eaten has been given away, canned, or made into jams and preserves. Each family should label their goods and trade them so everyone has a variety of homemade jams and preserves for the winter. A traditional cakewalk and apple bobbing are two simple and fun activities for the children.

If there are elderly or infirm people in your neighborhood, ask your children to help them keep their houses in shape by raking their leaves. Many of the elderly have wonderful stories to tell and are just waiting for the chance to share them with the eager ears of children.

It doesn't take much time or effort to spread warmth and love among your family, friends, and neighbors, but it is something we often forget to do in the busyness of daily life. In this increasingly disconnected world, it becomes more important to take the time out and reconnect a little bit every day. Enjoy the fall, it won't be back for another nine months.